I Don't Want to Make Decisions Anymore

You've typed that into a search bar and probably felt a little guilty doing it. Like wanting this means something's broken in you. It doesn't. Some people are genuinely built to decide things for themselves, and some people aren't, and neither one is the correct way to be a person.

You Were Told Wanting This Meant Something Was Wrong

Independence gets sold by society as the whole goal, the thing you're supposed to want more of, every year, in every part of your life. I've written before about how that message doesn't actually fit everyone, some people don't thrive on independence, they thrive on structure and someone else carrying the weight, and pretending otherwise just wears them down. If that sounds like you, the problem was never you. It was being told there was only one right way to want to live.

Some People Just Aren't Built to Decide Everything

This isn't about being tired for a season or needing a break. For some people it's not circumstantial at all, it's just how they're wired. Handing over real decisions isn't a coping mechanism for a hard week. It's a genuine preference, as legitimate as the opposite one.

What Happens When You Hand Them Over

In this dynamic, the real decisions move to me. What the day looks like. What matters and what doesn't. You still have your own mind, your own opinions, your own taste, none of that goes anywhere, including your own preference on the decision itself. Tell me what you'd want, and I'll actually take it into account, always. What goes is the part you were never built to enjoy carrying in the first place, the responsibility for how it turns out.

What You Get Back

Someone else carrying the responsibility, finally, instead of you pretending you wanted to all along. Not relief from a hard week. Relief from spending years pretending to be someone you were never actually built to be.

If this sounds like who you actually are, not something you need fixed, I'd like to hear from you. Read more about why independence isn't for everyone, or reach out through the Join the Family page.